I have been trying to be a better person for a long time now. Years, in fact. I'm sure most of you have done the same at one point or another, or maybe you are perfect, in which case, go screw yourself....
People make New Year's resolutions, people give up things for Lent, people try to get fit for swimsuit season....it goes on and on.
I tell ya, I've tried so hard in the past to be nicer. I really don't like being an old bitch. It's one thing to be fun and snarky. But, I have been an old bag more times than I really want to admit. But I'm being honest here. Sometimes I like to act like I do everything and be a martyr of sorts. But then I turn around and complain and whine and piss and moan about it. A lot. Seems dumb to me now that I actually know I do it. And it's hard to stop. I tend to mumble under my breath about always having to clean up the kitchen 56,987 times a day...and so on and so forth. Kinda stupid. And redundant. And moot. Whatever. We all make mistakes, the point is to learn from it, right?
I tell ya. Having had depression and anxiety my whole life, I know more than the average bear about being a naggy, whiny, critical old bag. Just ask my husband. And my previous husband.
Now, I'm not talking about the occasional bitch-fest. People need to vent now and then.Women have griped about their husband's dirty laundry on the floor ever since Adam left his fur thong on the floor in Eve's tent. Men are annoying. It's in the Bible....Ok, fine, maybe not, but men have been annoying their wives forever. I'm sure Noah was a stand-up guy, but I betcha that his wife was starting to go crazy by the end of the 40 days on that ark with all those reeking animals and her large family. Ever took a sniff by the otter cage at the zoo? Bet she ran out that thing praising God for sun! I rest my case.
Anyways, my first step on this journey of self-betterment was wanting to make some friends.
The thought of making friends actually makes me queasy and gives me the trots.
Making friends starts with talking to people. One thing that I've been really bad at has been talking to people. I'm kinda like a hermit. I don't like to go anywhere, I like to stay home, AND I am a stay at home mom. SO I don't get out much. Naturally, I totally suck at small talk. I have a hard time looking people in the eye, I'm super awkward and clutzy, and I never know what to say, so I usually try to make them laugh to break the ice, which usually consists of making fun of myself. Example:
I met my husband's work colleagues (love that word- makes me feel cool for using it..) for the first time at a Christmas party. We were all making the requisite small talk, when one of them asked me to tell him about my kids. (Husband must have told them I had kids.) I said I had 2, and he said I look pretty young for 2 kids, and I responded with, "Well, I was a slut in high school!" and cackled loudly...
Lovely, right?
Being a stay at home mom and talking to short people who crap their pants does not make one a good social butterfly...
But it dawned on me, "Well, why does it have to be small talk? Why can't I talk to people and ask them about things going on in their lives- about things important to them?" After all, I like it when people ask me about my life. I like to talk. I like to feel important and all that jazz. I figured that other people do too.
Well, turns out- other people are interesting!
It's darn-tootin fun to talk to random people! In the past week, I have talked in depth to the man who we sold our car to, a neighbor I used to barely know, an old friend, a gas station clerk, and another neighbor who is totally rad and I LOVE talking to!
I never would have done that before. I was always too busy, and too crabby. The thought of talking to people made my ass sweatier than a whore in church. Maybe it's being off the crazy meds that makes me a little more reckless and sociable...I don't know. What I do know is that when we are little kids on the playground, we make friends easily. Laughing, playing, screaming happily. Pushing each other gleefully into posts...Oh, maybe that was just me...
And then we get older, and we feel like there are all these "rules." Don't talk about sensitive issues, try not to be annoying, don't laugh too loud, try not to be repulsive.....
Screw the rules. Be genuine. If you want to give your friend a squeeze, do it. She probably wants one. If you see someone crying in her car, tap on the window and ask if she's ok. If you see an old dude sitting alone somewhere, plop down beside him and chat him up! Old dudes are super cool. Talk to people!
Just be yourself. I can't begin to tell you how much FUN I've been having just diving right in. I talk to everybody now, and it's grand.
People really are interesting!
Who knew?!
The thought of making friends actually makes me queasy and gives me the trots.
Making friends starts with talking to people. One thing that I've been really bad at has been talking to people. I'm kinda like a hermit. I don't like to go anywhere, I like to stay home, AND I am a stay at home mom. SO I don't get out much. Naturally, I totally suck at small talk. I have a hard time looking people in the eye, I'm super awkward and clutzy, and I never know what to say, so I usually try to make them laugh to break the ice, which usually consists of making fun of myself. Example:
I met my husband's work colleagues (love that word- makes me feel cool for using it..) for the first time at a Christmas party. We were all making the requisite small talk, when one of them asked me to tell him about my kids. (Husband must have told them I had kids.) I said I had 2, and he said I look pretty young for 2 kids, and I responded with, "Well, I was a slut in high school!" and cackled loudly...
Lovely, right?
Being a stay at home mom and talking to short people who crap their pants does not make one a good social butterfly...
But it dawned on me, "Well, why does it have to be small talk? Why can't I talk to people and ask them about things going on in their lives- about things important to them?" After all, I like it when people ask me about my life. I like to talk. I like to feel important and all that jazz. I figured that other people do too.
Well, turns out- other people are interesting!
It's darn-tootin fun to talk to random people! In the past week, I have talked in depth to the man who we sold our car to, a neighbor I used to barely know, an old friend, a gas station clerk, and another neighbor who is totally rad and I LOVE talking to!
I never would have done that before. I was always too busy, and too crabby. The thought of talking to people made my ass sweatier than a whore in church. Maybe it's being off the crazy meds that makes me a little more reckless and sociable...I don't know. What I do know is that when we are little kids on the playground, we make friends easily. Laughing, playing, screaming happily. Pushing each other gleefully into posts...Oh, maybe that was just me...
And then we get older, and we feel like there are all these "rules." Don't talk about sensitive issues, try not to be annoying, don't laugh too loud, try not to be repulsive.....
Screw the rules. Be genuine. If you want to give your friend a squeeze, do it. She probably wants one. If you see someone crying in her car, tap on the window and ask if she's ok. If you see an old dude sitting alone somewhere, plop down beside him and chat him up! Old dudes are super cool. Talk to people!
People really are interesting!
Who knew?!
