The lovely side effects are gone. I can feel my toes again, and my "lady parts" no longer feel "asleep."
I'm thankful that I can cry again. It's really lovely to have a good cry now and then when you feel overwhelmed because the dog dug up that patch of tulips that finally were big enough to push up a few flowers, or when you watch The Notebook, or when you see that diaper commercial where the babies are all special because some were a surprise, some were waited for years for, some were early, some were late... Before, it felt like I would get to the point where I wanted to cry, but then something would shut down and I couldn't. It felt like when you really need to sneeze, so you look at the light and all that, but you still just can't sneeze, so it sits inside your nose, waiting...and then you feel like some troll with no feelings.
My medication helped me for a long time. But the side effects started to get so severe, that the price was not worth it. My husband has been wonderful helping me get through this time. Learning to deal with anxiety is something that is very hard to do on your own. It helps to have a husband that can tell I need a break and tells me to go away. And he doesn't get upset if I spend little too much time browsing at TJmaxx. Or if I get yet another strawberry freezy smoothie thing at Target.
Without my medication, I am even more hyper and weird and unbalanced. I am scatter-brained- I forget EVERYTHING now. I lose track of time, I laugh a little too loud, and sometimes when I feel like I'm going to lose it, I need to give myself time-outs.
But I also love more fiercely, I laugh more often, I hug tighter, I kiss harder, and the fog has lifted.
And I got my sexyback....
After all, I may have some issues, but so does everyone else. If you think you don't- you may just me the sickest of us all......
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