Moms go through phases, too!

"Oh, don't mind Timmy, he's just going through a biting phase."
"UGH! She's going through a damn princess phase right now and that Disney shit is driving me nuts!"
"Little Susie is in a naked phase. She refuses to wear clothes and even strips down in public!"

Most mothers have uttered a phrase like this about each their kids at one time or another.
The funny thing is, I don't think we ever grow out of going through phases. I have gone through so many phases even through my adulthood. Here are a few of my more ill-fated phases, not necessarily in the order that I had the pleasure of experiencing them:

The "quiltmaking" phase where I had all good intentions of making a bunch of quilts and raking in the cash selling them on Etsy.  I didn't factor in my lack of patience, or my lack of skill.

The "bad short mom-haircut" phase. How unfortunate.

The "I cut my hair myself, isn't it cute!" phase. Again, how unfortunate. Looking like you stuck your hair in a wood chipper is not what most people go for.

The "I have a whole bunch of high heels that I bought, so I'm really glamorous and sexy (but all I wear are these shitty sneakers)" phase.

The "I want to be taken seriously as a really good mom so I'm going to dress in high waisted front-butt jeans and button down shirts (with my short hair)" phase.

The "I'm going to get really fit so I'm going to run everyday and eat no carbs" phase. This didn't last. I was irritable and bitchy from lack of sugar and artificial ingredients.

The "I want to be a really cool mom so I'm going to wear labels like American Eagle and Hollister plastered across my chest" phase. This just made me look stupid. We all know moms who are in this phase.

The unsuccessful "I want to be artsy and cool so I'm going to buy a ton of brushes and paints" phase. Paint and canvas does not an artist make.

The "punky" phase where I put safety pins and plaid patches on my jeans and shirts in an effort to appear mysterious and tough. I just looked like I couldn't afford clothes.

The "midlife crisis" phase where I tried to bleach my hair to be young and hip and it turned orange. My daughter said I looked like an oompa loompa. Not exactly the look I was going for.

The "shabby chic" phase where I painted everything in my home with crackle paint. Ick. It was like living in Goodwill.

The doomed "red lipstick" phase. It does NOT work for everyone.

The "everyone else is wearing skinny jeans so I should get some too!" phase. I tried on no less than 267 pairs. The combination of light pink skinny jeans, fluorescent lighting, my turkey drumstick thighs and my dimply cottage cheese ass was not pretty horrendous.

The phase where I would say things like, "UGH, GAG me with a spoon!" and "Whatever!" and "Like, oh my god, I totally LOVE your sweater!" I was not, am not, nor ever will be, a valley girl from the 90's.

Sometimes trends and hobbies just aren't meant for you. But the only way you will find out is to try them. Just know that your friends and family may be snickering behind you....